like a crowd of glowworms.....

Today is friday and I am very happy that eventually I will have some free time.Today I was breathing at school like a fish ......only by mouth,,,cause because of sneezing my nose was stuck.so all the time I was just thinking to go home as soon as possible..Some time ago we had math test and I was a bit upset as I thought I didn't do well.I will tell you what I did: I had some problems with solving exercise number 4 (there were 5 exercises) but eventually I noted something,then I realised that this what I wrote is utterly stupid and without sense so I crossed out all that page and then schoool bell rang(what means the end of math and the end of test) so in a hurry I took one part of this page in a circle by pen as a sign that it may be correct and handed it in.Imagine how I was surprised and happy to get to know I got 4 + it means I did well.Thanx God teacher accepted this what I wrote and what was in my opinion more like own happy and crazy invention than math solution..such things happen always whenn little philosophers want to take math in their hands.......simply there is no place for philosophers in math lol Yesterday during pysical education hour we were throwing ball ,so called medical ball ( medical ball is a ball that weighs from 3 up to 5 kilos) .I threw 6 meters.On avarage girls from class were throwing from 5.5 to 7 and one even did 8.Marks weren't bad..but I think such things shouldn't be marked..it is not my fault I am not strong enoughbut who cares...Next day so today I am having terrible pain in my muscles lol it means I must exercise more... Yesterday also we were having first rechearsal for our school theatre.Me and my friend act in a choir but fortunately we don't have to sing -we can say our version..But what was the most annoying was the boy that is playing one of main roles...he has great accent..so he was correcting everyone all the time...even teacher...He is native Polish but don't know why and for what he speaks mainly in English although half of people here don't understand him...so after rechearsal we doubted if we should take part in it or not.. On 1st November there is here very important day
..and celebration ALL SOULS' DAY so we commemorate all these who are dead. My family come to us and together we visit graves and pray.Probably my aunt and uncles will come on sunday or maybe even saturday and stay a bit longer.On the proper day of commemoration so on 1 st nov. what is on monday we are free from school but we visit some cemetaries ,some are far away from our living place.But the most time we spend on this one where my grandma is buried and her parents so my grand grandma >and grandgrandpa.We visit graves,light candles and bring flowers .We stay there till it is dark...you know the cemetary is so beautiful then.It loks very peaceful and luminous.Each grave has some candles so it looks like crowd of glowworms.it is is like a sign of our memory for them...we will never forget them...they are still in our hearts and minds although some of them I couldn't get to know...I was simply not here yet.There is always special atmosphere of this day felt in the air..special union of families and friends.In front of the cemetary gate people sell candles,flowers,cotton candy-very sweet ,pretzels and dark bread also a bit sweet but very nice and traditional.I love my family very much but sometimes they are a bit annoying.You know all these aunts and uncles come and kiss you three times in a chick for greeting so imagine for exmple ten aunts coming to you and kissing in a chick -every aunt and every uncle.And then every year they ask me same questions : ''Zosia why you don't
have a boyfriend?'' or ''Zosia what are you gonna do in the future?'' or sometimes I hear my aunt saying to my mum ''well Zosia looks very healthy''lol..so You see I am fed up with it sometimes but I always try to be polite They are all sitting around the table and talking about politics and different staff so sometimes I don't find myself between them,,,,,,,,,,,,,anyway there is no place left cause so many people...When I was little child my mum was keeping me at her knees or grandpa ,sometimes they were calling me.."Zosia come here dear mum is going to do delicious sandwich for you''lol So before they come I have lots of tiding and cleaning ,I promised mum to tidy my room actually I promised it myself.Today when I started to tidy I found some newspapers from library that should be given back long time ago...so I went to the library immediately but fortunately I wasn't charged for keeping it too long. it is autumn here but today we had really beautiful weather..here we had about 15 degree centigrades and very sunny.You are just walking along the street and see all those trees yellow,brown and purple...it is so warm autumn and leaves fall down the trees or on your face lol.I like the colour of them..I promised myself to go to the forest but I can't deceive time.

I am still alive......

Last week was full of parties unfortunately cause there were too many of them but what to do most of my closer class mates are from October.First my friend Karolina has birthday on 13 th(some people claim it is unlucky day but she is always so lucky that it seems to be a kind of myth).First she said she is not organising anything,however I decided to buy something for her as I know her for 12 years now.Imagine I always have problem what to buy although I love giving presents sometimes I have fear of disillusionment from someone's side.I was walking and walking through avenues and then I saw beautiful long scarf...and I thought she must have it or if not she I will take it for myself...It is long,colourful and so optimistic...I was sure it must be something she likes although it is strange gift as for 18 th birthday.Apart from that I gave ger figure of elephant ..it was green with some flowers on it ,quite heavy .Elephant was holding peace of paper saying:For 18th luck.She was very surprised with gift but happy and invited me for her family party on Sunday.But before there was another Kasia's birthday party.It was organised in Gnaszyn-about 30 minutes by bus from my town.Me and my Karolina collected some money and bought for her quite tall wooden figure presenting cat black one + sorry to say funnt ashtray cause she is smoking like a locomotive,eventually she admitted it is too nice as for ashtray and keeps there jewellery.But I have to say it was not good party.Actually everything was delicious especially pizza:) and we were dancing a bit and making funny faces in front of camera but then the atmosphere started to get worse.Imagine Kasia was showing al presents but forgot to show the gift from her boyfriend.That's why they had an argue.One of her cousins took some drugs and became very agressive.These were people that I and Karolina saw for the first time.We felt the atmosphere was getting very unpleasant and it is better to go home.We were supposed to have given lift by Marta and her boyfriend Przemek(Przemek was another problem,actually not he but Kasia's female friends who hanged an eye on him and were gosiping about marta that she doesn't deserve on him etc.,unfortunately she heard everything and became very apprehensive).So after doing some picture we came up to kasia and informed her we are leaving.Her boyfriend with whom she had a row thought we are going because of him.So he blamed us for this that kasia was angry with him.He took the car and drove away.
When we were outside this drug taker came and said he would like to hit someone...he was very aggressive and hit the gate with his hand so that it was damaged and his grandpa and grandma came out and started shouting.Wegot into the car and Marta was one leg still outside when we noticed that Kasia's boyfriend is driving directly towards us with great speed......we didn't know what to do.We felt we are going to die in a minute.We hesitated whether to escape immediately or stay and wait..........but we were in shock that we couldn't move so we were just sitting and staring as he is looming.Fortunately he omitted us in last minute and drove next to us but then another thing happened ,he turned in the back and it looked as if he was going to hit our car from the back...so we all decided to go home as soon as posible.Fortunately this boy was not following us.When I was home I felt as if stone left my heart.I was so scared.I always try to avoid such people and such violent situation.I didn't know Kasia's other friends so how could I suppose something like this is gonna happen?
And on Sunday this karolina's family party.Well it was quite nice but I felt a bit strange and stiff sitting between her uncles and aunts talking abut politics.I was glad Karolina was there so we had some other topics together.The worst was that I had some homework for Monday so I was sitting till 4 a.m. writing esays for polish which actually wasn't checked. ...

One minute of silence.....

Today all school was like sleeping .all in sadness and schock.Boy from my school comitted a suicide.He hanged himself in a forest.Yesterday they found his body...
We don't know what was the reason of his behaviour and this will probably remain mystery forever...He didn't pass to next class because of his polish teacher.He had to pass final exam in August but he failed.that means he has to repeat the class.His friends told he wasn't depressed or very upset about it.But actually he came just once in September,greet his class and now this terrible news.His parents didn't know he is repeating class.Today before geography test we commemorated him by a minute of silence.it was so silent that almost annoying like in a church.I don't like such silence..it makes me feel like a mummy..and even fly is audible.
There is a display in my school with different pictures of school,it is picture in black and white...and he is there.I didn't know him very well,actualy I even didn't talk with him.I was just passing this boy as each stranger..but everytime when I got to know about such terrible mysery I feel so sad and I know I can't do anything about it.Students lighted candles in front of school and sticked his pictures to the trees in front of the school.Our main teacher dedicated our polish lesson to talk about our attitude towards school and parents.Teenagers are here very often depressed about school and often feel they are not able to cope with all these difficult subjects.Our main teacher(the mother of class) asked us "tell me is comitting a suicide for you sign of bravery or being cowardly?''and the class replied as something between.But as far as I am concerned I think it is very cowardly attitude..to end this life as if we were escaping from all these problems on the earth. ***************************
My class was going to have history today so me and my 2 class mates were standing in front of 10 class and talking.Suddenly we realised it is after the bell and no sign of our class....we started to look for them but no footprints even.We went to teacher room and asked where he may be I mean our professor.One teacher directed us to head master so we went but he couldn't help us.He went withus and we started to check door by door.but nope.Then fortunately we met other history teacher and she told us that Professor Mastalski is ibn 14 class as each thursday.We simply mistook the class.We were sure that today in 10 class.....So we run to the class but didn't have enough bravery to knock and interrupt the lesson.Of course it heaped on me so I knocked and said"yyyy good morning we are sorry to be late''
He was very mad ....other class mates told me he called me ''notorious escaper'' and used also some other descriptive words for my other 2 friends.lol he is so funny sometimes...

Brain?-left at home....

Yeasterday in my country there was celebrated the day of BOY.There is a habit that from sheer politeness girls from our class buy something for boys(without any personal aim).And they compensate somehow on women day:):) This thursday big geography test was supposed to happen so we though oh gosh we must move somewhere and there is an occasion cause BOY DAY is coming..so we decided to go anywhere...instead of giving them another panties or cups or lolipops...We were hesitating between theatre and cinema just to have thursday free of school.Actually I don't know why but my class is a bit quaint.What I mean is that boys and girls don't talk to each other.apart from asking about homework and copying lol..that seems really strange.There are like 2 camps in one boys and in second girls.There are 2 couples in our class and apart from them there is one big misunderstanding between girls and boys.The sentence ''Women are from Venus and man are from Mars'' seems to be proved.
Anyway we were supposed to go to cinema on polish movie entitled''Bench'' and we had to go out after long break.It was dead line to decide about the subject of may matura exam so I thought to go only to cinema and earlier think more about subject what is my big dilema last days.I am very concerned about my future.Unfortunately my class played truants(I mean they omitted deliberately one lesson with Mr.Mastalski and told our Class Mother that it was from his fault.So when I came to school ready to meet my class and go with them to cinema I met just one boy who didn't go with them.His name is Mikołaj and he is disabled.I feel sorry for him but every time when I talk to him I try to make him feel as normal as possible.Suddenly my class mother appeared and very surprised asked me what I am doing here .I explained everything.and she said she is going to join the class later as movie starts at 11:30 so we have stil some time and my class is waiting there cause they finished earlier...(I thought poor teacher .they just escaped from this lesson...)So we took bus and joined the rest of group.My friend couldn't count all boys and later we realise that she paid for too many tickets but it was too late.Generally the movie was very well directed and a bit funny but actually it was just another stupid romantic story about gullible,naive woman and typical pervert yuk!
Me and my best class mate Karolina were laughing at it...we thought "great movie for a lonely hearts as ours.Of course boys said it was the worst movie they have ever seen but thanxed us for making them also free from geography test.
**************************Today -friday.I had to be at school at zero hour so at 7 o'clock for the physical education(usually I have it earlier as I am running for the bus).I woke up a bit late at 6:30 so did everything in a hurry but didn't miss the bus.Here we have obligation to get on the bus through first doors and show ticket to the driver.I showed him and then realised we have 1st october today and my ticket was valid to 30sept,fortunately driver didn't notice it is not proper ticket.he just had a glimpse at it.Anyway I was living in tension for the whole way..because...apart from checking the ticket by driver there are special people whose job is to check the tickets and proof of identity and if someone doesn't have proper one then must pay a kind of charge -my mum wouldn't be happy about it.So I was going with karolina and Justyna and all way to school we were observing people getting on the bus if they are checkers or not.Actually is not difficult to recognise them as they work on same bus lines for a long time and still same.Thanx God I survived somehow today.But then at school I realised I didn't take my dressing for exercising so teacher noted in her diary:Zosia-not prepared for the lesson.Actually I had shorts to exercise but forgot T-shirt.that I was ironing late at night and stayed on the ironing desk.
Then I was going through the corridor and came across my geography teacher,actually I bounced from his stomach and I mumbled"I am sorry..eee good morning''.Of course he looked at me a s on strange creature and went forward.Then I realised I forgot book and glasses too....so I thought ''great''..actually it is quite funny day.Going home I decided not to risk going by bus but going on foot.Actually it wasn't bad idea as I refreshed a bit (it was pouring and as we have at home one umbrella which was taken by my sister,I even didn't have any hood today .Some people when raining or pouring even put a bag .thin bag on their heads but I don't have such habit)but again my head looked like curly sheep.It was only 30 minutes of walk.Sometimes I ask myself :where did I leave my brain...it seems to be sleeping...or maybe I left it in a fridge to refresh and make thinking properly lol.Today I noticed my dog has again these terrible bold wholes on his back...so we have to take him again to vet in order to apply another vaccination.Yuk I have always hated vaccination with a syring.Each time we weresupposed to have it at school I was trembling with fear and became paler than I am so nurse always asked me to turn my head in different direction or clse my eyes.And then I always trid to imagine something pleasant or that it is only little fly biting me now...but I understand the fear of my dog.He must be brave....;0.